Jerry Jones: I have the brain of a 40-year-old man

  • By Dan Hanzus
  • Around the League Writer
  • Published: Aug. 28, 2013 at 07:30 p.m.
  • Updated: Aug. 28, 2013 at 09:03 p.m.

Jerry Jones will outlive us all.

This always has been a working theory around these parts, admittedly rooted in a gut feeling rather than tangible medical evidence.
But now ... now we have something to work off. The Dallas Cowboys owner received some very unusual news during a recent visit to the doctor. He shared said unusual news with the media, because, well, that's what makes Jerrah, Jerrah.
"I've been told that I have, by CT Scans, that it's like the brain of a 40-year-old," Jones said, according to The Dallas Morning News. " ... The guy really did not know it was me. I was there anonymously. He said, 'And so I just wanted to come down. I saw your chart. I know how old you are. That part is really impressive.' "
(We like to imagine the doctor racing out of surgery so he can steal a glance of The Anonymous Brain.)

Let's do some math. Jones is 70. His brain -- as we now know thanks to science -- is 40. Extrapolating that data (and assuming proper conditioning and technology keeps the rest of his body in working order), we can safely approximate Jones having a 146-year lifespan.
Of course, that's not factoring in the chance Jerry Jones' brain has gone Benjamin Button. In which case, all bets are off.