Premier League preview
Kevin Keegan may not concur but for the rest of us this weekend's Premier League action is steeped in drama, suspense and no little pathos as matters at both ends of the table are concluded.
And you can watch all the action unfold courtesy of Sky Sports' unrivalled coverage of the final day drama.
For the first time since the 1998/99 campaign the final day of the season begins with the title still in the offing, as Manchester United hold the advantage over Chelsea courtesy of a superior goal difference.
At the foot of the table two from three of Birmingham, Reading and Fulham will be left to reflect on swapping sojourns to Old Trafford and Anfield for trips to Bloomfield Road as the reality of relegation hits home.
1999 was perhaps the finest year in United's long and illustrious history as they secured the treble, but they are no strangers to experiencing the flip side of the coin either, as historians will point to final day shenanigans in 1995 and 1968 when the red side of Manchester was left feeling decidedly blue.
Few will forget Andy Cole's profligacy at West Ham that allowed Blackburn to steal the title in defeat at Anfield, while cast your mind back to the sixties and it was bitter rivals City that rendered Sir Matt Busby and his side inconsolable.
United make the short trip to North West counterparts Wigan aware that good neighbours are hard to come by. Steve Bruce would likely concede part of his heart still belongs to Manchester but he will demand nothing less than ruthless professionalism from his players at The JJB.
If United falter then Chelsea and the much maligned Avram Grant could win not the just the title but claim a massive psychological advantage ahead of the UEFA Champions League final in Moscow. Chelsea have been accused of being less than easy on the eye but the fashionistas of the Kings Road will care little for aesthetic appeal if those in blue are crowned champions at Stamford Bridge.
Bolton head to West London not yet mathematically safe but in the knowledge only a set of results that would have the bookies calling for an inquest could see them relegated.
At the less salubrious end of the table, it is Fulham that are looking the likeliest to stage a great escape that a hybrid of Steve McQueen and Harry Houdini would have baulked at a couple of weeks ago. Roy Hodgson takes his side to Fratton Park to face a Portsmouth outfit that for all their protestations to the contrary, could be a little phlegmatic given the FA Cup final looms on a none too distant horizon.
Should Fulham falter then either Reading or Birmingham could beat the drop as they face Derby and Blackburn respectively. Rams boss Paul Jewell has been left fuming this week over a less than complimentary assessment of his side attributed to Royals coach Kevin Dillon. Pot, kettle and black springs to mind but Jewell has vowed to send his side out fighting at Pride Park.
For Birmingham it is in-form Blackburn at St Andrews, with Alex McLeish aware that even victory will not be enough, should Fulham come away from the South Coast with more than just a nice tan.
Mr Keegan's post-match appraisal of Newcastle's current predicament sat with owner Mike Ashley about as comfortably as a vegan in a butchers. On Merseyside he'll be offered a chance to see how his side fair in comparison with an Everton team that have proved the gap between the top four and the rest is not perhaps as insurmountable as he suggests.
Should Everton sign the season off with a defeat at Goodison Park then Aston Villa, who travel to a West Ham side that have not moved from tenth since the opening day of the campaign, could nip in and pinch a Uefa Cup place for next season.
Roy Keane's Sunderland players entertain Arsenal, who have endured a week to forget, with their manager's apoplectic assessment of their display at Bolton last week still ringing in their ears, while the term 'dead-rubber' has perhaps never better described Middlesbrough versus Manchester City at The Riverside.
The final fixture of the day should be an entertaining if largely unimportant affair as Dimitar Berbatov - if rumours are to be believed - could bow out his Tottenham career against Liverpool at White Hart Lane.
Click below for individual match previews
Birmingham v Blackburn
Chelsea v Bolton
Derby v Reading
Everton v Newcastle
Middlesbrough v Man City
Portsmouth v Fulham
Sunderland v Arsenal
Tottenham v Liverpool
West Ham v Aston Villa
Wigan v Man Utd